I'm addicted to Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, which I've been playing on my GameBoy for a month now. Kirby is this little pink marshmallow of a guy who has to scuttle around in a bunch of different worlds, pass through portals, and defeat a series of nasty bosses. I think about Kirby all the time these days (I even dream about him), and I've come to the conclusion that Kirby should run for our nation's highest office. Just hear me out.

Why Kirby should be president:

1. Although pink, he is not nearly as controversial as that yellow sponge character.
2. He does a little dance whenever he gets a piece of food.
3. He can summon three of his friends in turbulent times, and they will annihilate whatever enemy gets in his path.
4. His image could be imprinted on our currency. He would be holding a giant hammer and looking cute—Japan would love us forever.
5. He can swallow his enemies and assume their powers.
6. If he holds his breath, he can float. Handy for international espionage.
7. He is not xenophobic. In fact, his goal is to travel to as many places as possible.
8. He is never reckless with the treasure he collects. There would never be a deficit.
9. He can endure ten blows from a giant spike before dying.
10. He can regenerate.
11. He looks natural wielding a sword that is bigger than his whole body.
12. Sonic the Hedgehog could be his Secretary of Defense.
13. He is a bachelor. He could wed a European princess for the sake of a strategic alliance.
14. He will never choke on a pretzel.

By the way, Nick is addicted to Warcraft, which he's been playing for 72 straight hours. We're both losers.

Tags: popculture